Embassy Adventure
A better title might be "How to screw our armed forces serving overseas". Do I sound bitter enough? I have now been on hold for thirty minutes with the US Embassy's American Citizen Services call in line. They only accept calls between 1:30 and 3:00 PM so we'll see if I get to talk to someone before they shut down the line. Every 20 seconds I am reminded not to hang up as I have been placed in a "priority queue".
I returned last night from a trip to Vancouver (entirely at my expense) attempting to register my child as a bona-fide American Citizen. Frankly, I could care less whether or not he is a Canadian, and American, or dual citizen prior to his 18th Birthday, but the "process" dictates that I get this done now. For starters, I am unable to claim him as a dependent, and more importantly a child credit on my income taxes without a social security number. I cannot apply for a social security number until I have filed a Report of Consular Services Abroad with the US embassy which brings me to the purpose of this blog.
Had I taken a job in Halifax or Ottawa, I probably wouldn't be off on this tirade, but unfortunately that is not the case. As a resident of Vancouver Island, I don't have the luxury of having a US Consulate nearby. It requires a trip by plane or ferry to Vancouver, on the mainland. Let's eliminate the flying as a hugely expensive operation requiring parking, taxes, etc... That leaves the ferry. First ferry leaves the island at 0700 and arrives at 0835. Allow 10 minutes to offload and you're left with about 1:30 to make it the 30km into downtown Vancouver, more than half of which is two-lane, non-highway through the burbs (traffic signals and all), during rush hour. Fat chance. That means you have to head over the night before..... You guessed it, hotel costs. Oh by the way, I failed to mention that they want both parents present, which as strangers in a distant land, means the kids come too. So now you're out $150CAD for the ferry (round-trip) and at least $150CAD on a hotel if you don't want to fight the rush hour traffic in the morning.
It gets better. You can avoid the overnight, by making an appointment. Only problem - they only book appointments on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons. Not only do you have to miss a day of work, but you have to yank the kids out of school for the day and get to fight the rush hour traffic heading back to the ferry after your appointment. And good luck booking an appointment with less than a month advance notice.
Heh, what do you know. 2:14 and I got to talk to a live person. Only 39 minutes on hold this time, that's a new record (minimum wait time).
Well, I lucked out. I managed to schedule and appointment during the school's Christmas break. No missed school days. Since we had never visited Vancouver (except for the airport terminal) we decided to head out on Sunday and do a little sightseeing. Tuesday rolls around and we decide to walk in during the walk-in hours. Sh-t! I have my digital camera in my bag along with our paperwork. Can't bring it in the embassy. Might take a picture of something sensitive. No, you can't leave it here at the desk, you'll need to secure it outside the building. Now I'm up a creek. I'm 12 city blocks from my hotel and car. Luckily, the bellhop at the Hyatt two-blocks away agrees to put it in their luggage storage room and I book it back to the embassy.
When I finally get to the window, I get Mr. Attitude. He takes one lookn at my documents, spies my copy of my marriage certificate and says, "This is a copy, you will need to return when you have the original, we cannot accept copies". Here's where it gets ugly. This is totally my fault. I made the critical mistake of believing what I was told by the operator on the American Citizen's Services line (42 minute hold that time and the previous record) when I asked her specifically if I could submit a copy of my marriage certificate and she responded I could provided it was the official certificate and not the keepsake one they give you when you first tie the knot. Well, I obviously misunderstood her, but lost my cool somewhat when this embassy peon started giving me attitude about line 4 on the form which says no notarized or photocopied documents would be accepted. He had the nerve to tell me that the ACS line did not tell me a copy would be allowed. So basically, he's calling me a liar. I spewed a tirade of words that quickly filled the "Swear Jar" at home (a quarter a shot when done in front of the kids) and stormed out.
Now in hindsight, if cooler heads had prevailed, I probably should have pleaded my case to at least allow us to complete the remainder of the application, with a later submission of the original document. Not sure it would have worked with this a--hole as he gave me the dreaded "hand" and walked away from the window with an elitist wave as soon as he passed my documents back through the window. Now I get to do this all over again in a month. The insult to the injury was the fact that, sure enough, sitting at the bottom of my lock box is an original copy of the marriage certificate that I didn't find in my quick first look.
So, bottom line, it's all my fault, but you'd think they would be willing to cut you just a bit of slack instead of acting surly and brushing off applicants with a cursory wave of the hand. My initial reaction was f--k-it. Let him stay a Canadian citizen. Unforutnately, that $1,000 a child tax credit is too tempting an offer, so I'll put myself through this misery once again. Thank you very much US Embassy for causing yet again more heartache to this sailor serving overseas. Okay - over-the-border ;-)
I returned last night from a trip to Vancouver (entirely at my expense) attempting to register my child as a bona-fide American Citizen. Frankly, I could care less whether or not he is a Canadian, and American, or dual citizen prior to his 18th Birthday, but the "process" dictates that I get this done now. For starters, I am unable to claim him as a dependent, and more importantly a child credit on my income taxes without a social security number. I cannot apply for a social security number until I have filed a Report of Consular Services Abroad with the US embassy which brings me to the purpose of this blog.
Had I taken a job in Halifax or Ottawa, I probably wouldn't be off on this tirade, but unfortunately that is not the case. As a resident of Vancouver Island, I don't have the luxury of having a US Consulate nearby. It requires a trip by plane or ferry to Vancouver, on the mainland. Let's eliminate the flying as a hugely expensive operation requiring parking, taxes, etc... That leaves the ferry. First ferry leaves the island at 0700 and arrives at 0835. Allow 10 minutes to offload and you're left with about 1:30 to make it the 30km into downtown Vancouver, more than half of which is two-lane, non-highway through the burbs (traffic signals and all), during rush hour. Fat chance. That means you have to head over the night before..... You guessed it, hotel costs. Oh by the way, I failed to mention that they want both parents present, which as strangers in a distant land, means the kids come too. So now you're out $150CAD for the ferry (round-trip) and at least $150CAD on a hotel if you don't want to fight the rush hour traffic in the morning.
It gets better. You can avoid the overnight, by making an appointment. Only problem - they only book appointments on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons. Not only do you have to miss a day of work, but you have to yank the kids out of school for the day and get to fight the rush hour traffic heading back to the ferry after your appointment. And good luck booking an appointment with less than a month advance notice.
Heh, what do you know. 2:14 and I got to talk to a live person. Only 39 minutes on hold this time, that's a new record (minimum wait time).
Well, I lucked out. I managed to schedule and appointment during the school's Christmas break. No missed school days. Since we had never visited Vancouver (except for the airport terminal) we decided to head out on Sunday and do a little sightseeing. Tuesday rolls around and we decide to walk in during the walk-in hours. Sh-t! I have my digital camera in my bag along with our paperwork. Can't bring it in the embassy. Might take a picture of something sensitive. No, you can't leave it here at the desk, you'll need to secure it outside the building. Now I'm up a creek. I'm 12 city blocks from my hotel and car. Luckily, the bellhop at the Hyatt two-blocks away agrees to put it in their luggage storage room and I book it back to the embassy.
When I finally get to the window, I get Mr. Attitude. He takes one lookn at my documents, spies my copy of my marriage certificate and says, "This is a copy, you will need to return when you have the original, we cannot accept copies". Here's where it gets ugly. This is totally my fault. I made the critical mistake of believing what I was told by the operator on the American Citizen's Services line (42 minute hold that time and the previous record) when I asked her specifically if I could submit a copy of my marriage certificate and she responded I could provided it was the official certificate and not the keepsake one they give you when you first tie the knot. Well, I obviously misunderstood her, but lost my cool somewhat when this embassy peon started giving me attitude about line 4 on the form which says no notarized or photocopied documents would be accepted. He had the nerve to tell me that the ACS line did not tell me a copy would be allowed. So basically, he's calling me a liar. I spewed a tirade of words that quickly filled the "Swear Jar" at home (a quarter a shot when done in front of the kids) and stormed out.
Now in hindsight, if cooler heads had prevailed, I probably should have pleaded my case to at least allow us to complete the remainder of the application, with a later submission of the original document. Not sure it would have worked with this a--hole as he gave me the dreaded "hand" and walked away from the window with an elitist wave as soon as he passed my documents back through the window. Now I get to do this all over again in a month. The insult to the injury was the fact that, sure enough, sitting at the bottom of my lock box is an original copy of the marriage certificate that I didn't find in my quick first look.
So, bottom line, it's all my fault, but you'd think they would be willing to cut you just a bit of slack instead of acting surly and brushing off applicants with a cursory wave of the hand. My initial reaction was f--k-it. Let him stay a Canadian citizen. Unforutnately, that $1,000 a child tax credit is too tempting an offer, so I'll put myself through this misery once again. Thank you very much US Embassy for causing yet again more heartache to this sailor serving overseas. Okay - over-the-border ;-)
posted by Paul Crowley @ 2:06 PM
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